During what was supposed to be a reasonable conversation on a phone call with a new Black friend in Canada (she was what I would call a “double-immigrant” since she had first migrated to the United Kingdom and then, after a few years, moved to Canada), an argument started.
I cannot remember what exactly sparked the argument, but I will not forget what it was about. It was an argument about migration, colonialism, and national responsibility for economic growth. I am a soft-spoken person, and this new friend was not, so I struggled throughout the call to draw her out of her emotions and into a state of sane reasoning, but she would not budge. She was more interested in harsh speaking and raised voices, seeing the argument through to the end, where she would emerge the winner. I was more interested in us sharing ideas, turning them around, discussing their pros and cons and developing insights from them. I wanted each of us to leave the conversation more knowledgeable, having gained each other’s knowledge.
During what was supposed to be a reasonable conversation, I had to hear this new friend share her opinion that many people from African countries are migrating to the UK, Canada, and the USA because we are bad people who have not accomplished anything good in this world. She said that she does not believe in racism and that when there is a case of it, it is us, the migrants, who have behaved terribly. She said that we are a black and ugly set of people. She said that when we come here, like beggars, we should accept whatever we are given because the countries we come from are much worse. Everything she said sickened me because these are the very same mentalities I thoroughly reject in my advocacy work against anti-Black racism.
During what was supposed to be a reasonable conversation, I managed to state that one cannot, and definitely not so quickly, separate the effects of slavery and colonialism from the poorer economic state of African nations. I stated that the responsibility for our nation’s perceived and manufactured lack of advancement should be well-balanced. Both we and our former colonizers, and the so-called developed nations who now rule the world, are to be blamed. They did not just economically destroy our nations; they continue to run a complicated system that is efficient at keeping us deficient, dependent, and inferior.
During what was supposed to be a reasonable conversation, I asked this friend what books she had read about colonialism and racism. She said none. I asked if she had looked at any research studies. She said no. I asked if she had, in any form, at least encountered any information about the history of any African nations, culture, or the ripple effect of slavery. Anything at all. But she had not studied anything, done any research or asked any questions. She responded that what she had seen was a Facebook video where someone who had stolen in an open market in some African country was being lynched. Lynching? Okay. So I asked her if she knew about late Nolan Wells, about the Black boys going missing in Ontario, the hanged Black bodies being found almost every day in Mississippi, the strange deaths of Black people in Germany. Still, she did not know about any of these things.
I decided there and then that I could not continue a conversation with someone who knew nothing. I refused to engage further with this new friend, and I ended the argument. I no longer consider her a friend.
By Joy Ebere